Friday, October 3, 2008

When it rains...

As if my terrible week of job nonsense wasn't enough, I got the dreaded call you don't want when you're in a long-distance relationship last night as well.

Justin is feeling swamped and overwhelmed by everything in his life, and so he needs to re-evaluate and sort some things out. I'm pretty sure this is just putting off the inevitable break up at this point. I know he has a lot going on, and I don't think he's able to change. It was a very emotional hour-long conversation. He's going to call back in a few days to continue it.

I know it appears that I am playing the weak one here and letting him direct this, but I am also using this time to determine what I want. I think what complicates it is that we both agreed last night that we both really like each other and I think there's a level of wanting to be together, just not sure if this is the right time in our lives.

I also need to step back and determine if this is something I want right now: do I want something that's long distance and some traveling involved and a little spur of the moment, or do I want something a little more grounded and traditional? I think what I'll need, no matter what I decide to do next, is make sure that I am getting just as much out of it as I am putting in. And the last month or so, it was definitely not balanced.

So yeah, lots of crying the next few days. Lots of ice cream. Lots of sorting things out for myself...

However, the only highlight of this is that my stupid deadbeat emotionally crippling dad referred to him as Justine in an email. So my dad now thinks I'm a lesbian. Because he's an idiot. Ha!

No comments: