I tried writing this post all day, but it was too hard.
For the first time since starting this blog, a post with the tag "Appreciations" hits very close to home. On Monday, my cat Midnight was put down. She had been in failing health for a little over a month, and she just wasn't the cat we all knew and loved. We knew it wasn't fair to us or fair to her. She was just shy of 18.
When I say I'm heartbroken, it's not hyperbole. My heart breaks that my cat is gone.
Last week when rat drama forced me to move back home for a few days, I got to spend some quality time with my cat. I also knew that this was probably going to be the last time I'd see her, so I made sure I said goodbye. And it was.
Monday after I found out the sad news, I went back to bed for awhile to cry (read: sob uncontrollably for a little over an hour) and Ricky rubbed my back and listened to me ramble and cry some more. During this, I came up with a list of my favorite Midnight memories:
--When we first brought her home, her name was Honey. We renamed her Midnight because... well, because she was black.
--Midnight used to like to sleep on my pillow by my head. She'd do this until I got the loft bed at age 22.
--When my mom married Leo and we moved to the house they live in now, Midnight came out of her shell a bit and became a little general and ran the place, keeping Millie in line in particular.
--Midnight was insanely jealous of Millie, speaking of. Any time someone was paying attention to Millie, she'd yell at them until they'd pay attention to her.
--Leo trained Midnight to eat from the counter. She loved yogurt. She also demanded she sit next to him at most meals.
--When I had leftover yarn, we'd make a wand with some yarn at the end and she'd chase it around and try to attack it.
--She killed at least one mouse in the house. Said mouse was left half chewed up in the bedroom. I found it.
--One time when Erin came to visit, Midnight confused her for me, and went over for love. When she realized it wasn't me, she flipped out and ran away. (her former shyness shining through)
--She'd keep Leo company at work and lie down on his desk in front of his keyboard or on his lap. He was so bemused by her I'm amazed he got anything done.
That's all I have for now, but there are 18 years worth. My mom used to call Midnight Mr. Jingles, because she still had all of her teeth and was healthy as a horse at an old age. And now, looking back, this is bittersweet. Then again, even Mr. Jingles passes after a long, full life.