Central Mass, where bad haircuts from the 80's go to die...

The last order of business in closing out the Justin chapter of my life was fighting the speeding ticket I got when going to visit him one night. That was today at 9am. First of all, it's pitch black and freezing cold when you leave the house at 6:15am. Fun fact. And it turns out the only people there were me, some other guy, and everyone checking in for probation.

But, onto my hearing. I wrote a song about it:

Fought my speeding ticket (was not fun) but
I fought the Central District Court of Clinton, MA and I won.
I fought the Central District Court of Clinton, MA and I won.
Supposed to pay a fine, now there's none.
I fought the Central District Court of Clinton, MA and I won.
I fought the Central District Court of Clinton, MA and I won.
I said my driving's record was good,
And sure 'nuf they understood.
They told me to slow down from now on, but
I fought the Central District Court of Clinton, MA and I won.
I fought the Central District Court of Clinton, MA and I won.




Joe Strummer would be proud. And yes, bitches, I WON! STRIPPED FROM MY RECORD! DON'T HAVE TO PAY THE FINE! The Magistrate told me not to speed any more in this area, and I agreed, but I thought in my head "I don't plan on coming through these parts any time soon".

Then I peaced out and did jazz hands in the parking lot. True story.

I love Arcade Fire, and so should you

Neon Bible in an elevator. Amazing.

T Minus 8 Days

And then the election will have come and gone.

Last election I got so annoyed and worked up I got a little drunk and kept drunk-dialing my boyfriend at the time, Andy. I never said I was classy.

That being said, I'm thinking I might enjoy some wine on Election Night and watch the results unfold. I just won't be drunk-dialing Andy, as we don't talk any more and I don't even have his phone number.

Maybe Justin will get my sloppy drunk calls? Or maybe I'll be hiding my phone. Better idea. Here we go.

Even Tim Gunn jumps on the No On Prop 8 Bandwagon!

My dog's cute

Yep, it's true. She is.

End of a phone era...

So I just upgraded my phone, as old phone was dying. New phone is very pretty. And purple. And doesn't die. And receives texts and voicemails in a timely fashion. So good times all around.

Because the pre-programmed ringtones suck, I decided to purchase one. I was hoping to re-buy my old one, which would be the theme to the Chariots of Fire. Because it's hilarious and I could slow mo run to my phone. Also, how freaking random is it to have Chariots of Fire as your ringtone? Very much so.

Sadly... when I looked for it, they no longer carry it. I guess they realized that it was not a popular one and... yeah, a random ringtone.

I right now have the theme to Curb Your Enthusiasm, but I might make the theme to Arrested Development for my phone. We'll see.

...seriously, Ringo?

I just read this:

Please please me.. with no more mail, Ringo says

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Former Beatles drummer Ringo Starr has told fans to stop sending letters and requests for autographs, saying mail will be thrown away after October 20 because he has too much to do.

Starr, 68, made the announcement in a video message titled "Sorry, No More Signing Stuff" posted on his official web site www.ringostarr.com.. Wearing sunglasses and flashing a peace sign, he says;

"I want to tell you after the 20th of October please do not send fan mail to any address you have. Nothing will be signed after the 20th of October. If that is the date on the envelope, it's gonna be tossed.

"I'm warning you with peace and love I have too much to do. So no more fan mail. Thank you, thank you. And no objects to be signed. Nothing."

He said; "This is a serious message to everybody watching my update right now. Peace and love. Peace and love."

Starr, who with fellow Beatles Paul McCartney and the late John Lennon and George Harrison, comes from Liverpool, England now has homes in Los Angeles and France.

Starr has released more than 12 albums since The Beatles broke up in 1970, the most recent of which was "Liverpool 8" in January 2008.

(Reporting by Jill Serjeant)

...okay, Ringo? I didn't even know you were still recording and working. Or really doing anything. So what is it you do all day long that makes you too busy to sign stuff? And furthermore, who is sending you stuff?

Don't get me wrong, The Beatles are #1 in my book for all time. But maybe it's because I'm a George girl, or maybe because this doesn't cross my mind, but I don't think I'd ever send something to Ringo for him to sign.

So are people my Grammy's age still doing it? I don't even know. But yeah, get over yourself and freaking sign some stuff. There's a whole freaking episode of The Simpsons based on it!!


Ringo Starr: Dear Marge, thanks for the fab painting of Yours Truly. I hung it on me wall. You're quite an artist. In answer to your question, yes, we do have hamburgers and fries in England. But we call French fries "chips." Love, Ringo. P.S. Forgive the lateness of my reply.

Interesting thoughts...

Here are some random thoughts from the week:

--I have some great friends. A week ago this time I was feeling devastated and questioning myself and just so horribly sad. And many of them (nay, the entire posse list minus Justin obviously since I think he's non-posse now) made sure I was okay and helped me out all week. It's moments like this where I realize how great my friends are.

--I think the plan in all of this is to keep myself as busy and moving as possible. Don't rest and start over-thinking. Keep busy, keep moving.

--The economy falling apart sucks, but it had to happen. And I think it's stuff like this that shows people to save, be smart and frugal. I hope it rebounds soon, though. Tim said that me and the economy will make a big rebound.

--My housewarming may lead me to drink if people ask me "How's Justin?" too many times. Just a warning.

--I have too much yarn but I think if I can make them all hats and mittens for the craft fair, I think I'll be sitting pretty.

--Justin taught me a lot. I know we didn't date long, but our connection felt very strong. It was like we burned very bright, but then burned out. I need that strong connection, and to feel comfortable with someone, and to have some "get me". However, I also need someone a little more stable, and a little more wanting to be settled. I will probably (no, definitely) need to date around a bit to find that person. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to settle down and get married and have babies tomorrow, but I need someone who wants something lasting and in a relationship just like me. So off I head on this journey again, trying to find that.

The other biggest political battle this season?

No, not B-Rock and Johnny McC.

I need to take a break from my "what does this all mean?" and "why am I still wandering around single?" and also the "what is the point in life?" posts for a night and ponder a battle I've noticed in a state slightly north of me.

The Jean Shaheen and John Sununu battle in New Hampshire.

I've been watching these political ads on tv for what feels like years now. Sununu loves W. too much. Shaheen hates teachers. Sununu loves big oil. Shaheen wants to keep New Hampshire safe. And so forth.

Their ads, if you've never seen them, are vicious. They both scare me a little. They both HATE each other and don't hide this. And they play all the time, often one right after the other. It's insanity.

I have a feeling next week it'll devolve into "John Sununu steals from nuns and orphans" and "Jean Shaheen eats dogs and wants to kick your grandmother in the shins".

What I don't get is this:
1. Why must we sling mud? Tell me what you stand for. Don't tell me why you hate the other party.
2. Why are all these ads playing day and night in New Hampshire?? I realize I'm somewhat close to the border, but it's most definitely on the Boston stations. And Boston, last time I checked, is in Massachusetts.

Come on, kids, let's try to play a civil game here....

"If I could, I'd shove that microphone up your nose, Johnny."
"Shove it, Jeanne. Nobody likes you."

Update: Not what I meant in new music, but it's worth a laugh or twelve

Rap Master Maurice: $7 Vigilante Rap Phone Calls



The podcast I listen to at work Too Beautiful to Live has been talking about him for months. He's hilarious, and then when he was the special guest on Friday night it was one of the best hours of radio I've heard in awhile.



Not what I need for new CDs for my car, but definitely for during the day at work.

Strike up the band?

Today on a drive home from work, listening to Radiohead's The Bends, I started to cry. I was in Hamilton and just crying to beat the bush. I've just been very sad and having a hard time with the loss of Justin (yes, I know he was a douchebag at the end) and all that breaking up crap.

It also hit me that the hour I spend in a car a day isn't helping me. I was listening to The Bends. That Thom Yorke isn't necessarily sunshine and kittens. At a red light, I looked for a happier CD only to find.... Ben Folds and The Arcade Fire. Both great bands, but again... kind of heavy and sad. They were also on heavy rotation when driving to Worcester, so I'm not sure I want to give them playing quite yet.

So in short... I need happier music. But I also don't want love songs. So I need happy non-love related songs. Damn... this might be hard.

When life gives you lemons, go on a whale watch

Mom and Shana invited me off of the main land and out of my head and onto a whale watch boat. (how many prepositions can I include???)

It was great. Freezing cold, but clear skies and great whales for October. Also, a bit choppy, but happy I had my dramamine. Here are some whale highlights:






Just a few more, I promise...




(not whales, obviously)






And this shows just how close they were to the boat.

Last few days...

...have been interesting. Definitely show me who my friends are and how great they are.

After the initial Justin break up conversation, I called Erin a mess and we talked for about an hour. She gave a lot of perspective on the whole thing, which is kind of what I needed since I wasn't thinking clearly.

The next day, I called in sick. I hadn't slept well at all, and I knew I couldn't fake it all day. I needed a day to think and collect my thoughts about this and a million other things.

During the day I tried to answer a few questions: if he wants to come back and try again, should I? Should I just end the battle now, as he's clearly not ready for a relationship? What is it I'm looking for?

At night, Dianne and Danielle invited me over for dinner and cupcakes and wine. All were needed. We watched Forgetting Sarah Marshall which, in retrospect, probably not the best idea on their part for a movie. They gave some good advice, and I finished my thinking over in the car.

That night, I decided that I think we should break up. He's not ready or even selfless enough to be in one. The tipping point for me was me trying to think if he had done any of the little things I did to cheer him up, or if I needed him immediately, would he be there for me? The answer was no and I couldn't say but probably not. I do really care for him and perhaps could have transitioned into loving him, but we just can't be together right now.



Then the next morning came...

...when John, his best friend texted me apologizing that we broke up and that it didn't work out. To which I said "what part of this is thinking about it for a few days??" I was livid. If he wanted to end it right then and there, he should have just done it. Not placate me and stretch it out. And futhermore, he should have also told me this FIRST.

I then spent an hour removing pictures of him from Facebook, changing statuses, and removing the songs he sent me and the pictures I have of him from my computer. I then wrote a note on a small gift (penny candy he grew up liking) I had gotten him on Thursday. I probably will not send it, but it felt good. Then I did probably a low blow, but he deserves it.

I texted him that it was the worst thing ever that he broke up with me via a friend and that I was done and he didn't need to call me back.


Then I cried some more and called Tim Duffy to sort things out.

After that, I decided I needed to get out of my head and go see whales. Which was perfect. They did every activity a whale does and they were right up next to the boat, which is uncommon in October. And good to see Shana and my mom. I'm glad I went.

That night, for another moment of great friends, Brian invited me over to hang out with his friend Gus and drink gin and tonics. Which were tasty, what with Brian being half British, so it's in his DNA. We played a lot of Wii and then when Gus left Brian and I watched Empire Records and talked until after 3am. It was good. Then I drove home.


So yeah, shitty week, but I have good friends to make it better. Justin hasn't tried to contact me, though his friend did to make sure I was okay, and I probably won't hear from him. At least not for awhile. Who knows.

When it rains...

As if my terrible week of job nonsense wasn't enough, I got the dreaded call you don't want when you're in a long-distance relationship last night as well.

Justin is feeling swamped and overwhelmed by everything in his life, and so he needs to re-evaluate and sort some things out. I'm pretty sure this is just putting off the inevitable break up at this point. I know he has a lot going on, and I don't think he's able to change. It was a very emotional hour-long conversation. He's going to call back in a few days to continue it.

I know it appears that I am playing the weak one here and letting him direct this, but I am also using this time to determine what I want. I think what complicates it is that we both agreed last night that we both really like each other and I think there's a level of wanting to be together, just not sure if this is the right time in our lives.

I also need to step back and determine if this is something I want right now: do I want something that's long distance and some traveling involved and a little spur of the moment, or do I want something a little more grounded and traditional? I think what I'll need, no matter what I decide to do next, is make sure that I am getting just as much out of it as I am putting in. And the last month or so, it was definitely not balanced.

So yeah, lots of crying the next few days. Lots of ice cream. Lots of sorting things out for myself...



However, the only highlight of this is that my stupid deadbeat emotionally crippling dad referred to him as Justine in an email. So my dad now thinks I'm a lesbian. Because he's an idiot. Ha!

Sometimes just a little apple doughnut is all it takes

This week has been just terrible. Every aspect of this week has blown. Work. Personal. All sucking.

Today I had lunch with my friend Kirsten and her best friend/friend from the way-back machine Andrew, which was great. Then I needed to go buy a pumpkin for a party I'm going to tonight so I ran to a local farm down the street for a pumpkin.

I also wanted an apple doughnut. Back in the day when I was little and cute, my mom would bring me and the boys to this farm to get pumpkins, look at animals, and eat apple doughnuts. And they were great. Something from my youth.

So when I went there today, I knew I'd want to get a half dozen for myself to eat over the next week. And not to turn to food to comfort myself, but sometimes it's what you need.

And perhaps this means that my week will be having an upturn: right when I went to get my donuts they had JUST COME OUT OF THE OVEN. So they were warm and fresh and delicious and wonderful. So good.

UGGGHHHHHH

I feel like this entire week has been dealing with stupid people and that my job in general has been kicking my puppy. My overworked, underpaid puppy...